This is the type of stories dreams are made of. You show up. 5 almost naked girls waiting for you to party with them. NO OTHER DUDE THERE! A 5 to 1 ratio is unheard of! Of course this dudes dream turned into a nightmare.
He posted on the TIFU subreddit: So, these 5 girls asked me to come and hang out with them in their pool. I thought it was gonna be a little party, but no. It was just me and 5 ladies in a pool. Sounds like a every mans fantasy, right?
I was invited over to start up a fire pit because “I can’t do it myself”. So, I ask “having a pool party, huh? Yea, I can do that!” I get a reply “yea, a party, sure!”
Red flag one. So, I take my happy and hopeful ass over to this house where the “party” is at.
Red flag two, the fire pit is already a’ blazin.
I didn’t think much of it, but I also noticed that only 5 girls in a swimming pool is kind of a small party, but I’m not complaining. I settle in, have a few drinks, hop in the pool and hang out with these ladies and all seems well…. then the night actually started to take off…
One of them got super wasted, stripped down naked and was running around the house hysterically crying, while we tried chasing her down so we could clothe her. Funny thing was, she was the only girl I didn’t see drink alcohol. And like a brick wall showing up while your doing 90+ in you car, BAM she was blitzed. Then, Another girl looked at me at one point and said “come here, I gotta tell you a secret” So, I swim semi-drunkenly over to hear her little secret, but instead she kisses me. I’m thinking, “okay not what I expected but I ain’t mad.”
As I go to kiss her back I hear, in an extremely angry tone, “What the FUCK?!” One of the other girls (the one who invited me) saw it and was irate. She swims over to us, and I’m thinking that I’m about to be castrated, but my presence doesn’t phase her, she moves straight to her friend and grabs her by the shoulder and a fistful of hair, and drags her out of the pool and onto the grass. They start fighting, like literally throwing fists and tackling each other on the ground, UFC style.
But, in the blink of an eye, they stop and starting hugging each other and crying like they just saw some cheesy romantic movie with a predictable ending. I’m thinking to myself “what the fuck. Should I be aroused or terrified?!”
I assure you, I was both.
After that, shit got scary. They threw me into the pool, and were trying to play some wrestling game, so they held me down. Now, I grew up with sisters who were rowdy, so I know how to push a lady whose trying to kill off me, but 5! IN THE DEEP END OF A POOL WHILE DRUNK. That shit got me praying to every God in every religion. I wasn’t sure if they were trying to kill me, or got caught up in the moment, I was just trying to stay alive, man. Their “playful” laughter is something that will haunt me until my dying days. I thought it was the last thing I’d ever hear.
Then things kinda settled down, so I, cautiously and reluctantly, stayed the night on the couch because I had too much to drink and I’m not trying to get a DUI or wreck my motorcycle. But I woke up to this god awful sound, like a beast was chowing on its prey, and I thought “aw fuck. This is it. These ladies are a coven of witches or demons and my soul is due for atonement. MY LUST, MY GREED, I DESERVE THIS.” So, I flip around to better see what’s happening, and the previously naked hysterically crying girl was vomiting everywhere. I mean really going at it. Like a fire hose.
Then, after painting the floor with a fucked up rendition of Blue Poles by Jackson Pollock, she looks at me and says “sorry, didn’t mean to wake you” and walks away. Like it was nothing. Then, I just closed my eyes in bewilderment, and waited until I was sober. And I got the fuck out of there.
TLDR; hanging with 5 girls in a pool sounds like a dream, but it’s actually a nightmare and they will get naked and try to drown you.